Remembering Stephanie
On what was to be her last visit to Minnesota, Steph and I took Sam, Teddy and Franklin to the Oliver Kelly Farm for the day - to let the kids run around outside on a nice day, see the barnyard animals and play at the farmhouse chores. We actually got lost on the way there, and a 45 minute trip stretched to nearly 3 hours.
But there was no complaining from Steph, even though I know she was not feeling that great. Instead, we laughed together the whole time we were driving around -- telling stories about family members, letting the boys out of the car to pee in the cornfields, stopping to ask random people for directions. By the time the kids were yelling "We're never gonna get there!", it had become even funnier somehow.
When I think of Steph, I think of her as beautiful, loving, and a hell of a lot of fun. And I know Steph appreciated fun people. I can see that when I look at her wonderful friends and neighbors. But I think when you are as warm and open as Steph was, you attract all kinds of people and their drama. What else would explain the bizarre situations she would sometimes find herself in? I never met someone who had as many wild stories about work as Stephanie did. Yet she could look back on it all and laugh. One of the smallest things that I find I miss the most is the way Steph would say "good one, Bubs" when I'd crack her up with some comment. I heard that a lot from her that day in the car.
As I drove Steph and the kids all over the western suburbs, it didn't occur to me that I was putting her in one of those bizarre situations like the ones we'd been laughing about all morning. That realization did not come until later, because Steph never made me feel stupid or thoughtless for getting us so lost. Instead, she made it feel like a perfectly fine way to spend our time together. Certainly, I did not know it was going to be the last time she and I would really get to hang out together. I know I am lucky to have had that time to reminisce with Stephanie, and lucky to have known her in the first place.
- Bubs
But there was no complaining from Steph, even though I know she was not feeling that great. Instead, we laughed together the whole time we were driving around -- telling stories about family members, letting the boys out of the car to pee in the cornfields, stopping to ask random people for directions. By the time the kids were yelling "We're never gonna get there!", it had become even funnier somehow.
When I think of Steph, I think of her as beautiful, loving, and a hell of a lot of fun. And I know Steph appreciated fun people. I can see that when I look at her wonderful friends and neighbors. But I think when you are as warm and open as Steph was, you attract all kinds of people and their drama. What else would explain the bizarre situations she would sometimes find herself in? I never met someone who had as many wild stories about work as Stephanie did. Yet she could look back on it all and laugh. One of the smallest things that I find I miss the most is the way Steph would say "good one, Bubs" when I'd crack her up with some comment. I heard that a lot from her that day in the car.
As I drove Steph and the kids all over the western suburbs, it didn't occur to me that I was putting her in one of those bizarre situations like the ones we'd been laughing about all morning. That realization did not come until later, because Steph never made me feel stupid or thoughtless for getting us so lost. Instead, she made it feel like a perfectly fine way to spend our time together. Certainly, I did not know it was going to be the last time she and I would really get to hang out together. I know I am lucky to have had that time to reminisce with Stephanie, and lucky to have known her in the first place.
- Bubs
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